Something Like Hulkamania...Only Dumber

by Paul Magno

Manny Pacquiao has many smart fans who know and understand the sport of boxing.

If you're one of those, this article isn't about you...go take a walk or make yourself a cup of tea.

I want to talk about the large wave of Pacquiao fans who aren't very bright and seemingly don't know much of anything when it comes to the sport.

Manny Pacquiao has generated a huge wave of interest among Filipinos, Filipino-Americans and Asians in general. That same wave has picked up some MMA followers and a few casual fans on the way before crashing right into the mainstream of boxing like a gigantic logic-defying Tsunami.

The boxing landscape, in its wake, has been devastated.

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The Paq-man Fever Post of the Week

How do the deaths of Arturo Gatti and Michael Jackson, the leadership style of North Korean dictator Kim Jung IL, the upset of Maidana over Ortiz, Kobe Bryant and a golf game between Oscar De la Hoya and Miguel Cotto all relate to Manny Pacquiao?

Well, we here at the BTBC aren't too sure either, but somehow, someway Boxingconfidential.com owner and Examiner. com writer, Michael Marley, found a way to tie them all together and file the Pinoy-heavy package under "M" for Manny.

To be honest, Mr. Marley has been writing from a "What would Manny think?" perspective for some time now and using gushing nicknames for Pacquiao like, "Megamanny," "The Pinoy Idol," and, a personal favorite, "Humble Superhero."

It's only fair that he finally get the recognition that he deserves:

This week we pay homage to the Grandfather of all Pac-man sack-swinging and present the coveted Lifetime Achievement Award in Pacquiao Nut-Huggery to Michael Marley!

Congrats!

In closing, we present Mr. Marley's epic pièce de résistance, "Michael Marley's Open Letter to Manny Pacquiao:"

Dear Manny:

It has come to my attention that I need to bring some things to your immediate attention. I do realize you were a little busy, particularly on Saturday night.

Why did you only batter Ricky Hatton for just five minutes 59 seconds, Megamanny?

Were you trying to get over to LA for a quick flight back to Manila?

How did your sainted mother enjoy her first trip to the US?

Please tell her the whole country is not as wild and whacky as Las Vegas.

I hear your religious Mom spent most of the fight on her knees. In that regard, she was just like the overwhelmed Hatton, eh? Your mother was praying and Hatton didn’t have one.

Listen, do not get upset by me calling you the Happy Hooker. It’s nothing tawdry but merely a reflection of your amazingly fast and powerful punches, which Paulie Malignaggi predicted would make Hatton look like a guy stuck in quicksand, and your smiling warrior persona.


For the Rest of the Article: http://www.examiner.com/x-5699-NY-Boxing-Examiner~y2009m5d4-Manny-Pacquiao-screams-I-can-whip-Floyd-Mayweather-Jr


Every week The BTBC will bring you the best in outlandish, hyperbole-filled posts made by Manny Pacquiao's goofiest nut-huggers.

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The Paq-Man Fever Post of the Week

This week we have another look into the zany life of potential Pacquiao stalker, Tommy Harris. In this video we learn that Manny "did it for us" and then we learn way too much about Mr. Harris as he tells us about how his wife left him because he was "fat."

Then, as a special added bonus, we get to see Tommy's boxing workout! God Bless You, Mr. Tommy Harris! Enjoy...





Every week The BTBC will bring you the best in outlandish, hyperbole-filled posts made by Manny Pacquiao's goofiest nut-huggers.

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The Paq-man Fever Post of the Week

This week our aim is to class up this blog by turning our attention to the gentle art of poetry. We found this gem out there in Cyber-Pacquiao Space and just had to share it. So, pour yourself a chilled glass of red wine, sit back in your most comfortable chair...and enjoy:

Hail Your King
by Adeno

Leave your doubts and fears behind,
start your march into the ring,
this is no time to be kind,
unleash the fury that you bring!

Show no mercy you're the king,
pound his body and crush his heart,
if you get hit just raise your arms,
retaliate with all your might!

Don't let others decide the conclusion,
for some men were truly born blind,
use the speed, use the mind, you can put him down,
dismantle this man named Ricky Hatton!

Old man Floyd can talk for eternity,
but the ring is no place for poetry,
fight for glory and raise your name,
Manny Pacquiao is at the top of his game!

I'm called Roach the master planner,
I lay the paths for Manny to conquer,
I'm his eyes when he cannot see,
together we strive for victory!

Prepare the words that meet defeat,
watch us celebrate in the ring,
I'd love to hear what you have to rhyme,
when your boy has fallen for the last time!

Manny and I will rule this world,
nobody else deserves his throne,
through wars together we shall stand,
hail the king, he is Manny Pacquiao,
hail the king, he is Manny Pacquiao!

Every week The BTBC will bring you the best in outlandish, hyperbole-filled posts made by Manny Pacquiao's goofiest nut-huggers.

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The Paq-man Fever Post of the Week

Here's a disturbingly funny video entry this week...10 Bucks says that Manny's filling out a restraining order against this flake within a year's time...Enjoy!

By the way, this nutjob has an entire youtube page devoted to his borderline stalking...Thank You, God!

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The Paq-man Fever Post of the Week

From the Thread: "How Would You Fight Pacquiao in a Streetfight?"

"I'd use my wrestling/bjj to take him down and go for a leg lock, armbar, or choke. I'm about the same size as him (5'7", 159) and am quick too, so hopefully, I could avoid getting punched in a bad spot and could get my hands on him, it's done after that, but, if I eat a punch, I'd probably be eating the pavement, lol"

**********

"I will use combative form of Aikido if i will fight MP but if he is to fast for me, so i dont have the option I will get a machine gun and shoot him I doubt if he can avoid the bullets ."

**********

"i would cover up my face and close the distance, then i would use my size advantage and try to wrestle him to the ground, and once there, i would put an arm lock on him and try to dislocate his weapons of mass destruction.

a lot easier said than done, of course, he would probably catch me with a devastating left straight to the solar plexus before i get a hold of him, and without padded gloves to lessen the impact, it would probably put me down or at the very least stop me in my tracks. running would be useless since manny is incredibly quick on his feet."

**********

"I'm Frankenstein. I stand 6 foot 7 inches tall. Pacquiao is a fighter, I'm a monster. I'll go toe-to-toe with him,when he throws his left straight, I'll hold his hand with my giant right hand. Hug him so tight, open my bloody, stinky mouth and let out my mouth's breath to his face until he can no longer breathe. While hugging and squeezing him until he falls unconscious.

When he's already unconscious, damn, I had knocked him out without single punch, I'll carry him to the hotel and bring 7 beautiful naked girls. I'll wake Pacquiao up, he'll be surrounded by ladies wearing only bras and panties.

Then I'll close the door. I won't tell you what's going to happen next..."

Every week The BTBC will bring you the best in outlandish, hyperbole-filled posts made by Manny Pacquiao's goofiest nut-huggers.

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The Paq-man Fever Post of the Week

"I even think King Pacman will beat Bernard Hopkins so easily...He is 44, slow and old...He has not faced a speedster like Pacman...They could do it at 158 lbs...Could be another title for the King!"

Every week The BTBC will bring you the best in outlandish, hyperbole-filled posts made by Manny Pacquiao's goofiest nut-huggers.

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Madcow's Standing 8 Count (5/17/09)

by Madcow

Hello Everyone! It’s another edition of Madcow’s Standing 8 Count featuring James Kirkland’s least favorite shooting buddy, Me! I wonder way Kirkland hasn't been on the range lately?

To say that this week has been a slow news week is like saying that your beloved Madcow likes his Jack and Water cold and strong…Duh! Other than Andre Ward finally acting like a real prospect and Edison Miranda quickly working his way back to eating roadkill, almost nothing of note has been happening.

So, rather than fill the rest of this column with filler about Mayweather-Marquez-Pacquiao and played-out debates on who’s better, I thought I’d take this opportunity to let everyone know what I absolutely hate about the sport of Boxing.

Here’s my list (in no particular order):

* Manny Pacquiao’s Fans (Especially the Filipino Fans)- I understand national pride- I felt the same way when the USA passed Mexico on the Swine Flu “Most Infected” list, but these Pac-fans are too much. In the past weeks I’ve read stories about Manny “easily” beating everyone from Cotto to Hopkins to Klitschko. Hell, at the Pac-land Forum, they aren’t debating about “whether” Manny can beat Mayweather, they’re debating about in which round he’ll knock Floyd out! Pacquiao is a great fighter, no doubt, but his fans need to bring things back to reality…Manny can’t beat the entire Indonesian Coast Guard and he probably would fare too well against the Nazi War Machine of World War II, either.

* Mayweather’s Mouth- If PBF could trash talk in an intelligent manner, I wouldn’t have a problem, but he sounds downright retarded sometimes and totally oblivious to the criticisms that come his way. So, Mayweather will go on and on about how a good little man will never beat a good big man despite the fact that critics are all over him for fighting Juan Manuel Marquez and, duh, Mayweather, himself, chose to fight the little man.

* Fighters from The Contender- Take a bunch of club fighters, slap them on TV and send them out into the real world with an inflated sense of self-importance and a mess of undeserved publicity. The result is crappy fighters in crappy fights wasting precious TV time that could be going to a legit class fighter.

* Catchweight fights- For crissake, fight in your own division and when you kill everyone around, then move up! If God had intended Juan Manuel Marquez to weigh 147 lbs., he would’ve given the guy a shoe size larger than single-digits.

* Strawweights- Any athlete weighing less than 105 lbs should be either on top of a horse or wearing a mask in Mexican Lucha Libre.

* Overweight Heavyweights- Any 200+ lb. athlete with rolls of fat around his belly should be wearing face paint or an Indian headdress and wrestling in the WWE.

* Interim titles, “Regular” Champs, “Super” Champs- Either you’re champ or you’re not, no in-betweens. That’s why I respect the BTBC World Rankings- They don ‘t recognize any of that BS. Being an Interim or Regular Champ is like saying that you’re just “a little” gay…No, it doesn’t work like that. You’re either a champ or a challenger…

* The Mora-Spinks Syndrome- Fighters, like Sergio Mora and Cory Spinks, who talk tough and walk to the ring with a swagger, but fight like little biaaatches.

* HBO’s Influence Over Boxing- I hate the way HBO has been allowed to dictate to fighters, promoters and sanctioing bodies. Imagine FOX telling the NFL that the Cardinals aren’t allowed to be in the Super Bowl! I just don’t trust HBO…After all, this is the network that built-up the best series ever, The Sopranos, and ended its run with the lamest ending ever!

* Every Boxing Forum, except The BTBC’s (http://www.btbc.proboards.com/) and every Boxing Blog except this one and The Blue Corner Blog (http://thebluecorner.wordpress.com/). Ok, will you get off my back now, Paul?

Well, my time is up here and I must be on my way. Cold drinks and warm ladies await.

Until next Sunday.

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